You have heard hundreds of times, “I’ve got this great person for you”. Or you see people on dating sites or even in real life whom you have thought could be it. You have been on so many first dates you wish you could just tape yourself and press play so you don’t have to make the effort every time. The whole idea of having to be on, annoys the heck out of you….when will this ever end? When will I find the one?

Although this may sound counter-intuitive it is true.The minute we make a switch in our heads about dating needing to be a chore that fulfills a purpose and instead turn it into something that is a part of life until further notice, (i.e. you land someone that you want to be with and who wants to be with you), is that minute that we can actually start packing up our dating gear, throw away our black-book (delete the Evernote page of people we have dated), and lose our list of places we most like to visit on dates and start doing the things we love.

Here is a list of things you can do to improve your hopefulness and get into the dating groove, make it more fun and effective and maybe even make it a thing of the past:

  • Stop adding up the dating bills. Dating is an investment that gets you closer to being where you want to be…In a long term relationship leading to marriage.
  • Stop viewing dating as this thing you have to do like paying bills, flossing your teeth and getting your car washed. Start viewing dating as something that you look forward to, and look at these people you meet as interesting people for a start who may or may not stick around a little longer.
  • Take one date at a time. Don’t go out thinking, can I see myself waking up next to this person when I am 80 and sharing my grandchildren with them. Even when you are married it may be difficult to envision waking up next to your partner and sharing grandchildren with them (especially if you haven’t even had children of your own yet).
  • Keep your perception of dating in check. So many people have shared with me, once they get married, that if only they could have enjoyed dating more before they met their partner. Life gets serious when you are in a serious relationship. Don’t start getting too serious too soon.
  • Do something fun in between finishing work and going out. Get away from the computer screen and go out and smell the roses… listen to some music that G’s you up, watch some light comedy that makes you laugh…Dance in front of a mirror…and take some deep breaths….
  • Imagine that you are going to meet someone with whom you will have a good laugh…nothing more…initially.

Once you can get over the dating hump, you will find that it will go so much better for you. Remember mind over matter goes a long way. How you think will change your perception which will change how you feel. How you feel can make all the difference in getting you into a serious relationship sooner than you think.

What helps you most overcoming dating slump? Share with me: mlavinpell@gmail.com

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