When we feel low or in pain, we over focus on what is wrong in our relationship. It’s ironic how easy it is to see how others hurt us, but much more difficult for us to see how we are co-contributors of pain.
When we feel sad, in order to strengthen our relationships and avoid causing more pain, we choose a different reaction than our usual one. Start by checking in with our partners from time to time to see how they are feeling. This is a great way to make them feel upbeat and optimistic too and reduce the possibility of causing unnecessary pain.
Checking in may feel strange, but by doing this we achieve so much:
1) We show our partners how much we really care about them.
2) We can learn how they want to be treated.
3) By asking what they want we model for them how to care about what we want because all relationships are reciprocal and dynamic.
Doesn’t Asking Make us Look Weak?
When we admit we don’t fully understand our partner it shows we really care. Admitting we don’t know something requires us to be vulnerable. By finding out what works for them directly we both hit the nail on the head for them while inspiring them to do the same for us.
I’d like to know what sorts of things you’d like your partner to know about you? Drop me a line: firstname.lastname@example.org