Hannah, a modern orthodox, attractive and quiet woman in her early 20’s was looking to meet a “nice guy,” like one of her brothers. When she went out, she was always careful to dress modestly and not speak inappropriately, nothing too sexy (heaven forbid). Not too loud, not too provocative, just straight forward.
“I just want the guy to like me for me,” said Hanna. When I asked her to describe what this actually meant, she struggled to explain it.
The very thought of flirting makes Hannah feel uneasy. Showing interest in a guy, trying to get him interested in her…it just sounds so against everything she was taught in her Modern Orthodox upbringing. It feels so wrong and unethical.
I hear that completely. But honestly, there’s no reason you can’t both be a good Jew and flirt.
Really…think of it as doing a mitzvah!
By flirting you’re actually making someone feel good. Showing interest in someone is like giving their ego an emotional massage. You know how great it feels to know that someone’s interested in you. Now put that into reverse.
Trust me… it feels awesome, and it’s good for you. As a relationship coach and flirting expert, I can honestly say that flirting is awesome for both of you. When you flirt, you remind yourself why you feel alive and attractive. And when you feel great, others want to be around you. Especially people who can relate to you and who are into you.
No one will automatically want to be around you. As they say in Hebrew, “Ain davar kazeh.” Translation: “This doesn’t exist in our reality.” We all have to make some effort to get people to notice us. Some of us do this so intuitively we don’t even notice we’re doing it.
It feels great to get someone interested in what you’re saying and to notice you. It makes you feel connected to them. And this is what we’re all aiming for – connection.
If you have a hard time flirting, hit reply and tell me why. Flirting is one of my areas of expertise. Check out my website for more info on how I can help you with all different areas of relationships: www.mickilavinpell.co.il.
If flirting is something you struggle with, let me know how I can help you get over this hump. Once you start doing it more and getting the response you’ve been waiting for, there’s no going back…